Quaking

There is a pinhole of light and a whisper.

“I know you.

“I trust the good wish inside you.

“Grow.

“Grow.”

A letter to those traveling in straitened times

1. Faith is a mystery. If we refute God’s existence, and still find abiding trust in the mystery that God’s absence reveals— that is a faith beyond the reach of arguments.

2. Faith is a gift, and few people really have it, I think. Stressful times, and times of abandonment by God can strain the “faith” out of most people. It is a priceless treasure for those who receive it— but, for most people, it’s merely one less thing to worry about. I say this without implying any judgment, just that people are different.

3. There are times of spiritual darkness in life. This is immensely stressful for people who have experienced profound nearness to God, and felt God’s shinings in great fullness of spirit— people who have the gift of faith.

4. God’s absence upsets all our ways of orienting ourselves and understanding the world. In Christian theology and experience, this is called the dark night.

5. The dark night is not a path of despair. It is a path of stripping and cleansing. It’s also not formulaic— the patterns below are landmarks mapped by those who went before, but the landscape is unique for every traveler.

6. The dark night reveals in us sweet desire, the desire for the voice of our Beloved. This desire can guide us even in the barrenness and silence of God’s absence.

7. The dark night also shows us we can no longer depend on old channels of divine grace. Familiar prayers, hymns, and ways of connecting become meaningless as we struggle in tears and silence for new Light. Over time, we find that no forms, no pious wishes, and no gods, can fill the void in our life.

8. The dark night re-centers our whole inner life and nature. It is very much like the chrysalis, inside of which everything we were is swallowed up, digested, and transformed.

If any of this seems familiar, you are not suffering alone.

Spiritual formation 2009

For the past few years, I’ve been living on the other side of a mountain from my meeting, but I still visit frequently. And I participate in spiritual formation there, even though I can’t be with them regularly.

Today, I sent this update to my spiritual formation group:

Two days ago, I made a groundhog day resolution to keeping a journal as a spiritual discipline this year. My format is simple, just two paragraphs a day for actions and reflections. The first paragraph is for notable things I did, and the second paragraph is for afterthoughts or what’s been on my mind. I’m aware that my needs may evolve over time, but for the purpose of enduring commitment, simplicity seems best.

My hope is that this discipline will help illuminate the way, and undergird my experiments with Truth with sound method based on observation, imagination (since you can’t observe a hypothesis in Nature), experimentation, and reflection.

I find it easy to flake out on spiritual disciplines when I forget to ask for divine assistance and the support of faithful community. Even though I can’t be at spiritual formation meetings on a regular basis, I hope sharing this intention with y’all will bring more accountability to the endeavor.

Two days in, I’m learning a lot from this new journal, some of which will find its way here in the coming weeks, I think.

As in heaven, so on earth.

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Come thy kingdom, be done thy will
As in heaven, so on earth.

The other day, my wife was walking at dusk with a friend, and they saw a shooting star.

It happened so fast, at first she didn’t recognize it. Then her friend said “I just saw a shooting star.”

“I saw it too.”

Today I’m thinking about how often we see movement between heaven and earth without recognizing it. How often does a leading come to us, and we don’t know what it is?

Keeping vigil in the silence helps us reflect on these things that pass so quickly between heaven and earth. By holding still, we can watch for these moments of grace and vision, and recognize them more fully for what they are.

Reflection on Herding

The gospel of Luke talks about shepherds who were waiting in the fields at night when they got a message from an angel announcing the birth of Christ. It seems significant that this message came to the shepherds; the Bible recognises that herders, like Moses and Abraham, are accustomed to silence, to long nights of quiet watchfulness, and alert attention to present events.

It’s like meeting for worship. Quiet mindfulness to present events exposes us to the plain promptings of the Spirit that we are often ready to overlook. Not every shepherd recieves a message from God every time she herds sheep, and not every attender recieves a message in every meeting for worship.

But as a pattern of life, regular practice of alert, attentive stillness gives us a space to experience the inward birth of Christ.