19th
a journal of prayer, darkness, and stirrings of torah
by john comma | contact
“Though conscience is an imperfect instrument for transmitting the Light, its claims are absolute and must always be obeyed, for conscience gives us the highest knowledge of the Light that we have at any one time. Because clearer and clearer knowledge may progressively be attained as the virtue of obedience grows, Friends have never declared any doctrine to be a final and unalterable creed.”
– Howard Brinton from Daily Readings
The grief left behind it a long shadow.
I found myself constantly casting about for sparks of Light, as if drowning. Dim leadings came, but too often I waited for something brighter, dithering. Instead of instantly obeying them, I buried them in long-delaying analysis.
In the reading above, Brinton courageously affirms that these leadings must be obeyed with authority, charging us with energy and imperative. Even when conscience shifts between darkness and shadowy light, we are called to claim the divine initiative it suggests, however vaguely.
A society of friends can be helpful for refining such leadings into “clearer and clearer knowledge,” but it is often difficult to communicate this condition to others through the howling emptiness of the Dark Night. Sometimes we must depend on the writings of another generation of friends to know that we are not alone.
I am learning to trust this sweet desire, my conscience yearning for Light. It is like the awakening of a new sense amid the nothing.
“…There are twelve pots of honey in my cupboard, and they’ve been calling to me for hours. I couldn’t hear then properly before because Rabbit would talk, but if nobody says anything except those twelve pots, I think, Piglet, I shall know where they’re coming from.”
– Edward Bear from The House At Pooh Corner
“To open the way, a cultural breakthrough need not involve masses of people but must be done decisively by someone.”
– from Goatwalking: A Guide to Wildland Living, a Quest for the Peaceable Kingdom by Jim Corbett
Social conscience is often wrong, among Friends as elsewhere.
Persons refusing to comply with social conscience are like researchers who refuse to conform their data to established theories. These divergent Friends advance our exposure to Truth, to the extent that we are willing to engage their testimony.
The community offers grounding, clearness, history, and legacy - but divergent Friends test the community’s social conscience. They challenge the community by refusing to abandon experiential revelation to suit established social norms or religious customs.
The task of faithful community is to integrate revelation into a heritable legacy that can be endowed to future generations. The task of the divergent Friend is prophetic: voyaging out into undomesticated Sabbath domains uncharted by religion, and recovering sabbatical wisdom for the community.
The vitality of faithful community depends on prophets who explore out beyond the slave morality of established religion. Someone must begin the exodus, again and again. Someone must take the initiative to do what is right when most of us are too cowardly or comfortable.
Mind the Light: Watch out for vibrations of trouble and apply the AVP guides to Transforming Power. Keep low and stay alert for new ways to serve God in my family and my studies.
Exercise Integrity: Simplify my tasks and just focus on priorities.
Serve others: Center on the issues where I can serve my family and community, and engage the mystery present in others.
Celebrate Life: Make time for games, laughter, meals, and fun.