12th
A letter to those traveling in straitened times
Faith is a mystery. If we refute God’s existence, and still find abiding trust in the mystery that God’s absence reveals— that is a faith beyond the reach of arguments.
Faith is a gift, and few people really have it, I think. Stressful times, and times of abandonment by God can strain the “faith” out of most people. It is a priceless treasure for those who receive it— but, for most people, it’s merely one less thing to worry about. I say this without implying any judgment, just that people are different.
There are times of spiritual darkness in life. This is immensely stressful for people who have experienced profound nearness to God, and felt God’s shinings in great fullness of spirit— people who have the gift of faith.
God’s absence upsets all our ways of orienting ourselves and understanding the world. In Christian theology and experience, this is called the dark night.
The dark night is not a path of despair. It is a path of stripping and cleansing. It’s also not formulaic— the patterns below are landmarks mapped by those who went before, but the landscape is unique for every traveler.
The dark night reveals in us sweet desire, the desire for the voice of our Beloved. This desire can guide us even in the barrenness and silence of God’s absence.
The dark night also shows us we can no longer depend on old channels of divine grace. Familiar prayers, hymns, and ways of connecting become meaningless as we struggle in tears and silence for new Light. Over time, we find that no forms, no pious wishes, and no gods, can fill the void in our life.
The dark night re-centers our whole inner life and nature. It is very much like the chrysalis, inside of which everything we were is swallowed up, digested, and transformed.
If any of this seems familiar, you are not suffering alone.
